Waking up is going to be a bitch.
I slept until 2 p.m. today. That would be super bad, except that I’m so sick that even that amount of sleep isn’t enough sleep. Since I have work tomorrow, I have to get up at 8:30 and then make myself breakfast and lunch (for later), and then hop on the 38 to go to work.
Well, one of my works. I’m interning at a music publicity company, but I also work for Neon Tommy, which is one of my university’s publications. I’ve been with it since its second year, and the amount of growth it’s achieved in a little over two years’ time is overwhelming. The front page is constantly being refreshed, there’s loads of multimedia and graphics, both our original and aggregated content are awesome; I’m proud to show the site off to people because it looks and reads really fucking good.
The music section is my baby, and I like to think I’ve done a good job organizing it. But every now and then I get word from the higher ups saying that I could be doing better, that I need to demand more from my writers, that I need to take more responsibility for what’s being put up there, that I need to know everything that’s happening in my sphere of influence
to which I wearily respond Yes, of course, I’ll get it, yes, just keep me here, just know that I’m doing everything I can.
I volunteered for my position during the second semester of my freshman year in college, and it used to be so easy then. Put someone down, make a request, wait for the rejection. But the higher our profile became, the more work I got, and of course that’s a good thing, but it’s made what was a “What the hell, I’ll do it” commitment turn into an actual job, and while I’m delighted by that (because that means I mean more to the site), it also scares me.
Because there are people watching me, watching what I do, and it’s like
I’m doing the best I can, guys.
I’m doing the best I can.